A few things:
- I am inherently a positive person, I usually look at the bright side of things and believe the best in people.
- I know the gospel is true.
- I also know that the Lord doesn't give us anything we can't handle, so He will provide a way.
Trials- we all have them, we all have our weaknesses (mine being a tasty pastry, ice cream, chocolate... you get the picture.) Some trials seem more "accepted" while others we dare not even speak about. It's ok to talk about some trials, but others are so taboo. And yet-
"Bear ye one another's burdens, and so fulfil the law of Christ." Galatians 6:2
What does it mean to bear another's burdens? We all have times on our lives where we feel utterly, desperately & completely alone. Why do we feel this way? Often it is because we feel like "no one understands", "my situation is unique". So we brood in silent, self-destructive self pity. Now, I don't know about you, but when I've been in this moment I say to myself, "Kjersti, what are you doing???" Then I usually pull myself up and try to move forward. But how?
By cultivating positive relationships with others. Throughout my life, the Lord has blessed me with some tremendous people who have lifted me when I couldn't lift myself. In other words, they helped me bear my burden.
Which brings me back to the subject of trials. Now, this is not the forum to go into specifics, but recently my eyes have been opened in regard to those who struggle with SSA (same sex attraction.) Now, before this becomes a political debate, this is my opinion based on my personal experiences and A LOT of prayer and study.
A little background- My Dad (who passed away in 2003) led a destructive double-life. On one hand he was the dutiful LDS father with the wife and kids, on the other a full-fledged gay man who died of AIDS. When he died, I struggled to find some meaning in it all. Again, not to go into details, I really struggled with understand him and specifically understanding SSA.
These things I knew-
- The church is true.
- Acting out on homosexual feelings is wrong. (although struggling with SSA DOES NOT make someone unworthy).
- God does not give us anything we can't overcome.
- Therefore, he must be able to provide a way for those who struggle with these feelings to live their lives in accordance with the gospel.
But how? I couldn't quite wrap my brain around it. And with the recent political debates surrounding proposition 8, I stayed strangely quiet. Mostly because I didn't know what to believe anymore. I didn't understand why gay marriage could be all that bad, and yet I knew it was against Heavenly Father's plan, my testimony wavered. Everyone I knew that had ever struggled with SSA eventually gave in, changed their entire lifestyle and slowly drifted out of my life. My heart broke many, many times for these people. And I spent many hours on my knees pleading for understanding. I was about to give up on God, when a still small voice urged me to stop wallowing and move forward. I soon met someone who gave me the insight and understanding I so desperately wanted.
It all came down to one thing, how could a person who struggles with SSA live in accordance with the gospel? It didn't make any sense to me. We all have carnal, "natural man" desires, but as a straight woman, I know that one day I will (hopefully) get married and be able to give into those desires. But if your desires were for the same sex???
I met this amazing person who struggles with SSA. And this person has taught me some invaluable lessons that I believe apply to all of us, regardless of what our struggles are.
- It's all about choice. When we make covenants with our Heavenly Father we choose to follow his path. As my friend has taught me, it is important to keep your eye on the prize (eternal life) rather than focus on momentary pleasures.
- Understanding who you are. We all have our "things" but we are all first and foremost sons and daughters of God with a divine purpose and destiny.
- Bearing one another's burdens. I can't even begin to express what meeting this friend has done for me. This friends has introduced me into a world where people are striving to live Christ-centered lives while still having their struggles. This friend has introduced me to hope.
- The importance of cultivating lasting friendships and relationships.
- There is hope in Christ!!!!
I believe SSA is treated with too much caution that drives these men and women to desperation. We need to stand up for what's right! We need to educate members of the church on how to help and support our brothers and sisters as they strive to do what's right. We need to love more and judge less. How can we stand idly by and watch the world change?
I miss my Dad. I want to honor his memory and help other people like him. He was an amazing man, who gave into his carnal desires that eventually took his life. I will do all that I can to educate others and perhaps help them avoid his tragic fate.
I've often said I live by these two things: Love one another and Judge not lest ye be judged.
"Love one Another" to me this means loving (having respect for) everyone regardless of who they are and what they believe, recognizing that they are Sons & Daughters of God.
"Judge not lest ye be judged" the only person I have control over their actions is myself. I cannot judge anyone else on what they have or haven't done. The only person I can judge is myself, and judge where I will go and who I will be with.
Now, you may or may not agree with what I've said, and that is fine. We all have our own opinions and beliefs. But, I will stand for what I know to be true no matter what.
I am grateful to the numerous people who have shared my burdens with me and I hope that I may be able to return the favor someday. Thanks! :)
