Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Today

Sitting silently in a room waiting-
Waiting for something unseen but felt.
It's odd how the little moments glide by-
Unnoticed, unappreciated.

Life tramples with giant feet
Unaware of the damage left behind.
Irreparable, Irreplaceable, Irreversible...
Forgotten shambles.

Staring at the sky wanting something-
Something to cause a change.
But still staring- not doing.
So nothing- only same.

What will the catalyst be?
Shake the status quo-
Awaken a sense of rebirth-
Today.

Sunday, March 27, 2011

Life is...

Life is ....
a peanut butter and jelly sandwich when you are starving-
key lime mousse pie-
thrilling-
staying up way too late giggling incessantly-
listening-
feeling like you belong-
reconnecting with an old friend-
sharing a moment-
twirling-
dancing like a goon-
a stage-
fleeting-
running on the treadmill-
full of hard knocks-
feeling utterly alone-
a classroom-
understanding who you are-
not understanding why things happen the way that they do-
HARD-
missing an opportunity-
seeing someone achieve their potential-
endless disappointments-
infinite hope-
seizing the moment-
holding someone when they cry-
music-
a breathtaking sunrise-
lying a loved one to rest in the ground-
holding a baby-
full of tears-
being held by someone who loves you-
unexpected...

Life is beautiful.

Thank you for being a part of my life.

Thursday, March 24, 2011

High School Etiquette

So, I am nearing the end of my first year teaching high school. And wow, the future is in very interesting hands. Two days ago I was with some students at a pull-out assembly that was a musical/dramatic presentation about Cesar Chavez. It was done by a husband and wife team and was very informative as well as entertaining.
Well worth the time out of class.
But, the students... not mine of course- I would've killed them.
They were so rude! Talking during the presentation, not participating, acting 'too cool for school'. I was infuriated! Literally it was all I could do to not stand up and let everyone have a piece of my mind.
People on the phones, listening to music, talking to their friends, putting their feet up on the back of the auditorium chairs. I was so embarrassed to be among that group.
I gave so many death glares to students I don't know. Serious death glares- and they can be scary. Trust me.
I hate the lack of class and etiquette. It is appalling to me. I always feel like even if a performance isn't great you should at least respect the performer for having the guts to put themselves out there. And it's just getting worse.
I also hate the fact that I hear the 'F' word all the time. It's starting to creep into my brain on a regular basis... Yesterday I heard a kid in the hall saying, "I just tore my 'f-ing' pants" I wanted to say to him- just curious but what makes your pants so 'f-ing'? But, I am sure I wouldn't want to hear the answer.
Oh and don't even get me started on the vile things they talk about when they think I am out of ear-shot. It's disgusting.
And very sad- they shouldn't be in such a rush to deal with such adult things. They need to enjoy being young and should stay innocent. But in this environment, that is nearly impossible.
I just wish that respect and tact and refinement would make a come back with these kids. I wish they could learn.
And so I try to set and example, and I try to get through to them.
Maybe I will make a difference?

Friday, March 18, 2011

Sigh

5:56 AM
Insane.
Exhausted from this week. Thank goodness it is Friday.
Happy thought- My students kicked some behind at region drama. They are all going to state except three! I hope the three will be ok...
Crawl back to bed? No. Students are expecting me. Expecting me to teach, expecting me to listen, expecting me...
Life is strange.
Never what you think.
One day at a time.
I am ready to get off this roller coaster, I'm getting nauseous.

"Relationships are like glass.  Sometimes it's better to leave them broken than try to hurt yourself putting it back together."

The fluidity of it all.
You expect something, you hope for something, you pray for anything. And often you are left with nothing. No, not nothing entirely- just not what you expected.

[A] final comfort that is small, but not cold: The heart is the only broken instrument that works. ~T.E. Kalem


I'm finally ready- ready to shut this door for good.
But with the end comes mourning, but also morning... and a new day.

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Somebody

"Somebody hold me too close-
Somebody know me too well..."
I absolutely love this song. I love the message. I love the raw power.
I saw this production when it was on Broadway with this cast and it was amazing! One of the most memorable evenings I have ever spent in the Theatre.
"You've got so many reasons for not being with someone, but, Robert, you haven't got one good reason for being alone."
"Buddy- don't be afraid it won't be perfect, the only thing to be afraid of really is that it won't be."
"Blow out the candles Robert and make a wish- want something... want something..."
"Somebody crown me with love-
Somebody force me to care-
Somebody let me come through-
I'll always be there-
As frightened as you-
To help us survive
Being Alive!"