An Ode to Mickey's Not So Scary!

There is a time, but once a year

Where adults and kids can stand and cheer!

There are witches, ghouls and silly fright

A magical place that comes alive at night!

Treats for all no matter the age

From the young, to the wise old sage.

When grim grinning ghosts come out to socialize-

At this party, you feel as if you've won the prize.

Memories made and a wacky time.

With friends, family- twas truly sublime.

At Halloween, it was my favorite thing.

Mickey's Not So Scary, oh the joy it did bring!

 In 2007, the adventure began

When Ben asked Luana to be more than his friend.

Amy met us for the all of the fun-

Dressed for a luau, despite lacking the sun.

 We met Mr. Walrus who was charmed by our smiles,

I was so happy I had come across so many miles.

 To meet his guy, who's homage to Disney was awesome!

My joy for the evening truly did blossom!

With my soon to be sister, it was very clear-

That Halloween may become my favorite time of year.

 Despite the rain (or maybe because of it)

These two gals didn't mind not one bit!

They met Capn' Jack and one attracted a bear

So, so glad this adventure they did share!

In 2008, the group changed a little-

Still Amy but Hannah now added some sizzle!

Who were they dressed as? Many would ask.

From crayons to power-puff girls, No, they would bask!

 The evening wore on, and Kjersti was silly-

Laughing and joking and acting willy-nilly!

The girls were a hit with all they did meet!

And they enjoyed having fun with those they did greet!

 A happy girl with her bag full of goodies-

Bids the party farewell, her happy in moodies!

In 2009, a new batch of faces-

Amy was gone, but Charron and Sarah came to the races!

Ben was back- Luana was too-

With little Elliott months away from making his debut.

 Howdy y'all in true cowgirl fashion!

This party was truly my passion!

In 2010- a moment of silence if you please.

In 2011, back in style- 

I came once again, sad it had been awhile.

Not knowing then what I know now.

That this may be the time to take my final bow.

With fruit flies and fruit along with dear April too.

And little did we know, Oliver was there with us too!

We laughed and danced and played all the while.

And the little family of fruit sure did cause people to smile!

 

So, thanks to you all for sharing this with me!

I hope this isn't the end of an era, I must go back and see-

The parades, trick or treating and the merriment too.

Without Mickey's Not so Scary, I'm feeling kinda blue.

 

Let's Start at the Very Beginning...

I am currently in rehearsals for "The Sound of Music" and it marks my 10th show I have directed in my teaching career. And I am having a hard time really getting into this one. I love the story and I have a fantastic cast, I just feel overwhelmed with the stress of it all and I am lacking some of my usual creativity.
It's always about money. I don't have any outside money to bring in and all the money in my budget is based on how much money I made the previous year. And Musicals are very expensive to produce. The rights alone are around $3,000- and normally I pay that sum when the run is over, but, the finance secretary and I had a mis-communication and she has already paid that amount. Which means, going into the production, I am already $3,000 short...
This is an expensive show. So many costumes and I want it to look amazing- which all equals money. Some of my adult production team aren't living up to my expectations and I am having a hard time getting on them for it. I don't really express my stress in an outward manner, so unless you know me well- I always appear calm and collected- while underneath I am sometimes at my tipping point.
I just need to find my inspiration and fast! We are a month and a half from performances. I have consistently put on outstanding shows and I want this one to live up to mine and everyone else's expectations!!
Sigh...
"I've always longed for adventure, to do the things I've never dared, now here I'm facing adventure- then why am I so scared?"
"Oh I must stop all these doubts, all these worries. If I don't, I just know I'll turn back. I must dream of the things I am seeking- I am seeking the courage I lack."
This weekend is a 3 day weekend because of parent teacher conferences. I am hoping a little r & r will do me some good as I get into the bulk of the production.
On a personal note, I've half-heartedly decided to be more pro-active in the dating world. Although I'm not sure when I will have the time to accomplish this goal. I'm going to seek out mid-singles social activities, and I've reactivated my online dating account. But, to be honest, my heart's not really in it. But, if I don't make changes, how will my circumstance change? I also made a recent decision to move forward in my own life, even though it means leaving someone behind. And, that's a hard decision to make, even though I know it's the right one. Right decisions are often difficult.
And life goes on.

Party for one?

The whole conviction of my life now rests upon the belief that loneliness, far from being a rare and curious phenomenon, peculiar to myself and to a few other solitary men, is the central and inevitable fact of human existence.

Thomas Wolfe

 

One of my biggest fears is living alone. I've never been a solitary person (sure I like some alone time every now and then), but I thrive in the company of others. I lead an interesting life in the fact that I spend the entire day in very social situations with my students. Laughing, talking, teaching, learning and growing. And, as much as I appreciate my students and the love they give me, it just isn't the same.

Last February I bought a condo that I absolutely love. I bought it under the pretense that I would have roommates live with me. My cousin agreed to move in and Amy lived here a short time before she moved closer to the U. Well, my cousin had unexpected surgery and needed to live with her parents to recover and decided not to come back. You see, my condo is in a perfect location for me, but too far west for most people. I've talked with a few potential roommates, but nothing has panned out. But, to be honest, I have no desire to live with strangers...

So, I've decided to go it alone. The messes are mine, the food is mine, I watch what I want on TV... And I spend a lot of time with myself. It's ok. It was really hard at first, but now it's ok.

(The definition of OK is satisfactory but not exceptionally or especially good... yeah, it's ok.)

I guess I never imagined that I would find myself in this situation. Never in a million years would I think, 'you know at 33 years old I'm sure I'll be living alone'. It's hard to adequatley put into words how I feel about this.

What I do know- I DO NOT want this to be my life. I DO NOT want to lead a solitary life without my own family. It's ok (see definition above) for now, but not for the long term. So, I need something to change. I'm tired of dating and trying to figure that all out. I don't know what I'm waiting for anymore. There is a potential person for me... but the timing and geography are all wrong. Timing and proximity truly are everything. The crazy thing is that I have no desire to attend a singles ward, I'm active in my family ward and feel like that's where I should be. I never meet single guys over the age of 18... and every time I dabble in the online dating world, I get a pit in my stomach. What am I to do?

This 'potential' person I really can't count on for the future. I mean, he just needs to make some choices... some to do with me and some that do not have to do with me. I just wish I could make sense of it all. I wish I could know one way or the other...

Tonight I spent the afternoon/evening with my siblings, their spouses and children. I am so grateful to have a hand in raising these amazing children. I'm so grateful for the special bond I have with them. And maybe those with children running around all the time, having no "me" time, constantly cleaning up messes, raising kids, teaching kids, having a spouse to worry about would really envy me right now- when the only noise I hear is the clickity clack of the computer keys instead of all the demands from people who depend on me. Maybe they would envy me for a moment, but then they kiss their children goodnight and snuggle up to their spouse in bed. Content. While I I hear is the clickity clack... clickity clack... clickity clack.

Perhaps I have this time now in life to appreciate it when I do have children who are making me frazzled. Perhaps. My hope and prayer that this truly is a temporary time in life for me to be solitary. I just hope and pray that I can make the choices that will lead me where I need to go. That someday (hopefully sooner rather than later because I am rapidly approaching my mid thirties)- I will have my own family. And miss the days when the only noise I heard was the clickity clack... clickity clack...