Last night I hung out with my good friend April and we saw the movie, "Valkyrie". (By the way I highly recommend the movie, it was excellent.) Well, we got there a little early and sat in the theatre as the played the pre-show commercials and such. On the commercials, there were a few kids talking about Christmas.
Sitting next to me was a couple obviously on their 1st date. And I couldn't help but listen in to their fascinating conversation...
Guy: You know I am the Elder's Quorum President.
Girl: Really? tee hee hee
Guy: Yeah, and I play the piano, so I am pretty much perfect.
Girl: You must be in demand. tee hee hee
(commercial with kids talking about Christmas starts to play again.)
Girl: Man, this commercial is so annoying. I hate kids.
Guy: Excuse me?
Girl: I hate kids, they are SOO annoying.
Guy: ha ha ha... wait are you serious?
Girl: I hate their little voices, their small heads, they just drive me CRAZY!
Guy: So... you'd hate my nephews?
Girl: Probably.
Guy: You realize you are going to hell for saying that.
Girl: Well, I think I might like my own kids...
Guy: Yep, hell.
Then the movie started. I think it was the last date for these two.
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Friday, December 26, 2008
So this is CHRISTMAS!
Merry Christmas! I have to say it was a great Christmas this year!
I spent Christmas Eve alone (now before y'all start boo-hooing that I was alone, it was lovely!) I watched the First Presidency Christmas devotional, read Luke 2 and sang some songs. I really felt the spirit and it was wonderful!
Here is my tree in my apartment, I purchased it, decorated it all by myself! Pretty impressive eh? Then on Christmas day I spent the afternoon at my mom's house.
Annelise, Luana and I get into the Christmas spirit, wearing red and green!
For Christmas this year, I bought everyone Disney t-shirts.
Mom & Kim were Mickey & Minnie-
Jeff was Grumpy...
Ben & Luana were Daisy & Donald-
Annelise & Mick were Jack & Sally!
The whole crew!
Here is my tree in my apartment, I purchased it, decorated it all by myself! Pretty impressive eh? Then on Christmas day I spent the afternoon at my mom's house.
Annelise, Luana and I get into the Christmas spirit, wearing red and green!For Christmas this year, I bought everyone Disney t-shirts.
Mom & Kim were Mickey & Minnie-
Jeff was Grumpy...
Ben & Luana were Daisy & Donald-
Annelise & Mick were Jack & Sally!
The whole crew!I am so grateful for my goofy family, they always put a smile on my face!
I hope you all had a Merry Christmas!
Monday, December 22, 2008
Realizations
It's the first day of Christmas break! YES!!!! Teaching can be SOOO stressful, and breaks are greatly appreciated and needed.
This morning I got up in a bit of a funk, but I promised myself I would work out, so I did. And post work out when I was uploading my calories burned, I started thinking about why weight is so hard to lose, why gaining is SOOOO easy and what stops me from being the best person I can be, and why I am worth it.
1- Why I gain weight- I LOVE LOVE LOVE food! I love trying new things, healthy things, fattening things, I don't really discriminate. Also, my internal 'stop eating you are now satisfied' button is broken. Seriously, if it's still in front of me and I know I'm full, I'll absentmindedly pick at my food until it is gone and I feel REALLY crappy. Eating is ingrained in me, when I celebrate, I eat- when I'm sad, I eat- when I'm bored... you guessed it I eat. And finally, in my darkest moments- I feel like I don't deserve any better.
2- Why losing is hard- Who likes exercise? Seriously who? (Ok, you may like the way you feel afterward, but who wakes up and says to themselves, "let's go running!" with the same enthusiasm they would say "I'm going to Disney World!") It's HARD work! You are creating new habits, you have to keep track of what you eat. It doesn't matter what gimmicky diets may tell you. It's a matter of calories consumed and calories burned, to lose weight you must have a deficit. It takes work and dedication, and sometimes sacrifice. Finally, it is SO easy to be lazy and SO hard to be disciplined.
3-What stops me from being the best person I can be- Life. Did I sign up for this? Disappointments, rejections, failures, feelings of inadequacies... Not believing in myself, getting down on myself for not being 'perfect'... What is perfection anyway? (A really good creme brulee...)
4- Why I am worth it- When I was watching the Biggest Loser the other night, one of the contestants, Stacy talked about why she was inspired to lose the weight. She had a friend who died from complications of obesity... at the age of 32. That is a tragedy. I know the loneliness obesity can bring. That will NEVER be me! I have so much to offer the world in whatever capacity the Lord sees fit. And, the Lord deserves my best, which means becoming healthy. So in those moments of darkness, take hold and shine! I am beautiful.
5- What now? I know some of you who read this blog also struggle with weight. So what now? Day by day. Let's support each other, give tips, cheer each other on and do this together! Starting now!!!!!! Even if it just means walking in place while watching the 6'o clock news. It's something!
Here are my tips for weight loss-
1- When going out to eat, check the restaurants website for nutritional information and decide what you'll order before you get there. (One time I was going to Noodles & Company and had decided to get the Med Salad. Well, when I got there, I really wanted the peanut noodles, but I didn't know the nutritional info, so I stuck to my guns. And when I got home, I checked the difference. Med Salad- 550 calories Peanut Noodles- 1100 calories...)
2- A great cookbook is "The Most Decadent Diet Ever" by Devin Alexander
3- Find little ways to be active, it really does add up!
Here's to a healthy life!!
This morning I got up in a bit of a funk, but I promised myself I would work out, so I did. And post work out when I was uploading my calories burned, I started thinking about why weight is so hard to lose, why gaining is SOOOO easy and what stops me from being the best person I can be, and why I am worth it.
1- Why I gain weight- I LOVE LOVE LOVE food! I love trying new things, healthy things, fattening things, I don't really discriminate. Also, my internal 'stop eating you are now satisfied' button is broken. Seriously, if it's still in front of me and I know I'm full, I'll absentmindedly pick at my food until it is gone and I feel REALLY crappy. Eating is ingrained in me, when I celebrate, I eat- when I'm sad, I eat- when I'm bored... you guessed it I eat. And finally, in my darkest moments- I feel like I don't deserve any better.
2- Why losing is hard- Who likes exercise? Seriously who? (Ok, you may like the way you feel afterward, but who wakes up and says to themselves, "let's go running!" with the same enthusiasm they would say "I'm going to Disney World!") It's HARD work! You are creating new habits, you have to keep track of what you eat. It doesn't matter what gimmicky diets may tell you. It's a matter of calories consumed and calories burned, to lose weight you must have a deficit. It takes work and dedication, and sometimes sacrifice. Finally, it is SO easy to be lazy and SO hard to be disciplined.
3-What stops me from being the best person I can be- Life. Did I sign up for this? Disappointments, rejections, failures, feelings of inadequacies... Not believing in myself, getting down on myself for not being 'perfect'... What is perfection anyway? (A really good creme brulee...)
4- Why I am worth it- When I was watching the Biggest Loser the other night, one of the contestants, Stacy talked about why she was inspired to lose the weight. She had a friend who died from complications of obesity... at the age of 32. That is a tragedy. I know the loneliness obesity can bring. That will NEVER be me! I have so much to offer the world in whatever capacity the Lord sees fit. And, the Lord deserves my best, which means becoming healthy. So in those moments of darkness, take hold and shine! I am beautiful.
5- What now? I know some of you who read this blog also struggle with weight. So what now? Day by day. Let's support each other, give tips, cheer each other on and do this together! Starting now!!!!!! Even if it just means walking in place while watching the 6'o clock news. It's something!
Here are my tips for weight loss-
1- When going out to eat, check the restaurants website for nutritional information and decide what you'll order before you get there. (One time I was going to Noodles & Company and had decided to get the Med Salad. Well, when I got there, I really wanted the peanut noodles, but I didn't know the nutritional info, so I stuck to my guns. And when I got home, I checked the difference. Med Salad- 550 calories Peanut Noodles- 1100 calories...)
2- A great cookbook is "The Most Decadent Diet Ever" by Devin Alexander
3- Find little ways to be active, it really does add up!
Here's to a healthy life!!
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
The Picture Show- from "Parade"
Well, here it is Tuesday night and I am waiting for the season finale of the Biggest Loser! I LOVE that show, it is so inspiring. ( I just hope Vicky doesn't win, she has been so manipulative ALL season and I really want someone else to win, preferably Michelle) It just reminds me how anything is possible if you just keep at it! Ali (whose picture is above) is amazing, she looks like a different person! I had a realization today. The holidays are hard, goodies are plentiful, stress is inevitable and all I want to do is curl up under some blankets and watch TV, which is precicsly how I was feeling this evening... So instead I walked on the treadmill. Normally I like to do what I can "hard core" workout where I end up sweaty and tired, but tonight I just walked. And I am proud of myself for doing it. Just keep moving!Oh, and I read the following on my brother Jeff's blog and thought it'd be fun (considering my eclectic music tastes!)
JUST FOR FUN….Feel free to do this yourself.Directions:1. Put your iPod, iTunes, Windows Media Player, etc. on shuffle.2. For each question, press the “next” button to get your answer.3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY OR NON-SENSICAL IT SOUNDS
1. IF SOMEONE SAYS “IS THIS OKAY” YOU SAY?
NYC/ Reprise from "Annie"
2. HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOURSELF?
Big, Blonde & Beautiful from "Hairspray"
3. WHAT DO YOU LOOK FOR IN A GUY/GIRL?
What kind of man? from "Curtains"
4. HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
Wishin' and Hopin'- Ani DiFranco
5. WHAT IS YOUR LIFE PURPOSE?
He's a tramp- Peggy Lee
6. WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
Drama- Erasure
7. WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
Santa Evita- from "Evita"
8. WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
My Lord and Master- from "The King & I"
9. WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
All for One- from "Spamalot"
10. WHAT IS 2 + 2?
Thankful- Josh Groban
11. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
Surfin' Safari- Beach Boys
12. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Senior Year Spring Musical- from "High School Musical 3"
13. WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
Superwoman- Alicia Keys
14. WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO WHEN YOU GROW UP?
Love Story- Taylor Swift
15. WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Baby Mine- Kerry Butler-
16. WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
Let's Go Fly a Kite- from "Mary Poppins"
17. WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
Spanish Rose- from "Bye Bye Birdie"
18. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR?
Time to Say Goodbye- Sarah Brightman
19. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
Details in the Fabric- Jason Mraz
20. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
The World Was Dancing- from "Songs for a New World"
21. SONG THEY WILL PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
"You are the Music in Me"- from High School Musical 2
22. WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
The Picture Show- from "Parade"
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
Frustrated!
So, it's 10:30 pm and I am not tired (even though I am normally asleep by now when I have work in the morning.)
I gained weight over Thanksgiving (to be expected) I've gotten most of it off. Tonight I went grocery shopping and treated myself to some light ice cream (100 calories for a half cup). Normally I am very good about measuring my servings, but tonight, I was just feeling rebellious, and I ate over half the carton and I have no idea how many calories (probably at least 650)...
I feel like a failure. I always get so excited when I start a new diet/exercise program. I guess I'm just reaching the end of the honeymoon phase. I know I can lose the weight, at least I think I can. But, sometimes I just don't see how. I don't know why I ate so much ice cream. I'm not particularly depressed or stressed, I was just hungry, didn't care about the calories and just ate until I felt sick. (I know when I've eaten too much because my neck starts to feel fat... weird.) I ran (well jogged, walked and sprinted in intervals) for 2 miles last night but tonight I just wasn't feeling it. I wasn't really feeling anything. Which is how my life has been of late. Feeling nothing most of the time. I think I've built up so many walls to guard myself from being hurt, disappointed and rejected that I've stopped feeling. There's got to be a happy medium.
Back to my fat, I hate it. I hate how much I have struggled. I know everyone struggles, but man! So, I continue to struggle and will continue for the rest of my life, because the moment I stop, the moment I give into my desires I will gain massive amounts of weight. I have no delusions of grandeur, I just want to be 'normal'.
I guess I'm just mad at myself. I guess it's like when and alcoholic falls off the bandwagon. Except for one big difference, I can't just stop eating.
Will I ever get below 200 lbs??? I weighed that when I was 15 years old! Half a lifetime ago. My highest weight was 280 (recorded weight that is.) I am now 220 (although I was down to 211 last spring)... It is my dream to see a one at the beginning of my weight.
I wish I could figure out the weird psychological issues that seem to prevent me from finally doing it. My issues with abandonment, acceptance, image.. whatever. I don't know what it is. All I know is that I WANT SO BADLY TO BE A SUCCESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! To shop in normal stores and wear normal sizes. It's so close I can taste it and yet I feel like I can't do it.
So, what do I do? I keep on moving forward. At least the body bugg is a constant physical reminder of what my goals are. I just pray I can do it, I need to NOW or I never will.
I gained weight over Thanksgiving (to be expected) I've gotten most of it off. Tonight I went grocery shopping and treated myself to some light ice cream (100 calories for a half cup). Normally I am very good about measuring my servings, but tonight, I was just feeling rebellious, and I ate over half the carton and I have no idea how many calories (probably at least 650)...
I feel like a failure. I always get so excited when I start a new diet/exercise program. I guess I'm just reaching the end of the honeymoon phase. I know I can lose the weight, at least I think I can. But, sometimes I just don't see how. I don't know why I ate so much ice cream. I'm not particularly depressed or stressed, I was just hungry, didn't care about the calories and just ate until I felt sick. (I know when I've eaten too much because my neck starts to feel fat... weird.) I ran (well jogged, walked and sprinted in intervals) for 2 miles last night but tonight I just wasn't feeling it. I wasn't really feeling anything. Which is how my life has been of late. Feeling nothing most of the time. I think I've built up so many walls to guard myself from being hurt, disappointed and rejected that I've stopped feeling. There's got to be a happy medium.
Back to my fat, I hate it. I hate how much I have struggled. I know everyone struggles, but man! So, I continue to struggle and will continue for the rest of my life, because the moment I stop, the moment I give into my desires I will gain massive amounts of weight. I have no delusions of grandeur, I just want to be 'normal'.
I guess I'm just mad at myself. I guess it's like when and alcoholic falls off the bandwagon. Except for one big difference, I can't just stop eating.
Will I ever get below 200 lbs??? I weighed that when I was 15 years old! Half a lifetime ago. My highest weight was 280 (recorded weight that is.) I am now 220 (although I was down to 211 last spring)... It is my dream to see a one at the beginning of my weight.
I wish I could figure out the weird psychological issues that seem to prevent me from finally doing it. My issues with abandonment, acceptance, image.. whatever. I don't know what it is. All I know is that I WANT SO BADLY TO BE A SUCCESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! To shop in normal stores and wear normal sizes. It's so close I can taste it and yet I feel like I can't do it.
So, what do I do? I keep on moving forward. At least the body bugg is a constant physical reminder of what my goals are. I just pray I can do it, I need to NOW or I never will.
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