Who I am really? Sometimes I spend to much time in my head, ruminating over problems, trying to fix situations and reliving painful experiences. Why? Perhaps it is a vain attempt to save myself from future heartbreak? In reality, it is usually based in fear. I have a tendency to believe the negative about something while hoping to be proven wrong. All while I wait for the moment to say "you see, I was right- he really is ________." A self-fulfilling prophecy indeed.
“We always see our worst selves. Our most vulnerable selves. We need
someone else to get close enough to tell us we’re wrong. Someone we
trust.” ―
David Levithan,
Naomi and Ely's No Kiss List
I am fortunate to have people in my life who have held up a mirror to me to help me see what is truly there. Sometimes it is painful and sometimes it is reassuring. Sometimes I need to adjust and change and sometimes I need to keep moving forward.
“Reflect upon your present blessings -- of which every man has many --
not on your past misfortunes, of which all men have some.”
― Charles Dickens, A Christmas Carol and Other Christmas Writings
― Charles Dickens, A Christmas Carol and Other Christmas Writings
Reflecting on the positive. This takes effort sometimes. And this is coming from a gal who has a pretty positive disposition. Positivity is not something to be taken for granted, it is something that must be nourished and practiced. When I look at my life, what do I see?
I see a girl who is in an amazing career, I see a girl who is excited to go to work each and every day. I see a girl who often takes on too many responsibilities, but somehow, makes it all work. I see a girl who loves to love people. I see a girl who loves to laugh and make others laugh. I see a girl who has doubts about herself, but still tries to move forward. I see a girl who knows loneliness. I see a girl who is striving each and every day to have faith. I see a girl who loves and embraces life. I see me.
