Life, as of late

 A lot has happened in the last few weeks. First of all, I have moved home for a few months until Amy moves here for grad school! I am excited to be home for a bit (I already have a calling in the Primary) and not to mention I get to live with Amy! (I haven't lived with her since my last semester at BYU-I which was Fall 2005! Speaking of Amy, she visited me earlier this month, it was awesome!

Highlight was Michael Buble!! Thanks so much AMY!!

I also spent a lot of time with my dear friend Toffer. He has started his new adventure at BYU-Idaho and I already miss him so much! He has been such an incredible blessing in my life. And I am so grateful I know him. Good thing he is only a few hours away, I don't how I would survive!

 I've also been thinking a lot about my blessings. I have some incredible friends who always make my heart happy. And, with Amy in town, I got to see a lot of them!

 I love my old friends from college days, I love how whenever we get together, we just laugh and have fun!

It's also been so great to have Cameron living in Utah. He is such an amazing friend and I love spending time with him, because we are both so awesome! We went to my first Jazz game (it went into overtime... so exciting) and to a Bees game (not as exciting, but hey they had good bratwurst) and played. Thanks Cam!

I am also very proud of my sister. She has always had the dream to own her own theatre company and she and her husband Mickey are making the dream a reality! The are the proud owners of Posion Ivy Mysteries, now one year old. On top of it all, my talented sister writes all the scripts and my brother Jeff does the music along with their partner Nate Drew. It's a really fun evening- you can check them out at http://www.posionivymysteries.com/ Do it! You'll be glad you did!

This is Amy and I with Criss who played Klatookie in the most recent show "Death the Final Frontier, May the Corpse be with You!" Ironically, Criss also is the father to two of my students, small world.

Speaking of my students, I decided to apply for the job at Hunter High, although I have no idea what I will say if they offer it to me. I wish I knew what the best choice for me is. I LOVE Valley, I love my students! But, should I pass up the opportunity to go to a high school? I don't know, but I figure I will when the time comes. This picture is at the cast pasrty for Aladdin- Toren was playing the piano and I was making up a song about a cat. I love these kids!! Oh and I have pretty hair.

And this girl never ceases to amaze me. I am so glad I am around to watch my nieces grow. Such great gals, they ALWAYS make me feel loved. They ALWAYS cheer my heart. I LOVE THEM!

Oh, and did I mention that I miss this guy?

Moving

Well, I am in the midst of moving. In fact as I type this I am laying on the floor of my bedroom surrounded by all my stuff because all my furniture was moved last saturday. I have been sleeping on an air mattress. So much fun... I am moving home for a few months and then will be moving again in August.
I also realized it has been a long time since I blogged. I am sorry for that. A lot has been going on with visits, people leaving, teaching, and surviving. But I do have a fun story.
So, I like to sing at school, randomly I will break out into song at people (notice I said at not to- it's more of an attack that way.) Another teacher, Mr. Cracroft also randomly will sing. Today he was singing at his class and after he was finished, one boy clapped told him he was really good. He told him, "You were just as good as Lionel Richie and Jesus!" Now if that's not a compliment, I don't know what is!
Happy Spring Everyone!

A Whole New World

Well, my production of Aladdin closed last weekend- and as it is with every show that closes, it is a bittersweet feeling. Sweet- because I got home at 3:45 today! My stress has been significantly reduced. Bitter- because the moment is now gone. The kids won't be showing up in my room every day after school to entertain me... Theatre is such an interesting animal- you work so long and so hard for something that just lasts an instant- but will be forever remembered by these kids. My students who touch my heart with their generosity, dedication, heart, humor, and love.
I was very moved by all of the people who supported me and my program! It's amazing how alone I can sometimes feel- but if I just take a breath- look around- and notice- I am overwhelmed by all of the people that believe in me. I had so many dear friends travel to come and see my show and build me. I marvel at how much people care. I am so proud of these kids, I am so grateful that I know them and that they will forever be in my heart. I can think of no better way to change the world than to teach.

Here I am with Brayden who played the Sultan and Merrick who was Aladdin.

This is Greyson and Paxton (Greyson was responsible for one of my favorite moments in the show!)

Here is Toffer with some of the guys from the cast. (Toffer was such a HUGE help! He helped with everything, especially helping me to keep my sanity- this is for you Mr. T!)

Karlee & Chantell!

Cameron as Iago

With Kim who played a lovely Jasmine.

HAPPY GRADUATION???

So today I attended my new ward. No, I haven't moved. I have "graduated". (But where's my diploma, my cool hat or a congratulatory dinner?)
I graduated from the singles ward- no I am not engaged... I am merely old.
A month ago I turned 31, which also means I am now too old to attend the Young Single Adult Ward. Well, our ward was also in the middle of a bishopric transition and seeing how I didn't want to leave the ward I hung around for a month, hoping the new bishop would be a little bit lenient.
HA! Last week, his first talk was about how we need to leave the ward when we turn 31. Toffer looked at me when the bishop said that, I punched him in the arm.
So... today... I went to the family ward. Fortunately there are a lot of singles in the family ward (a bunch of YSA "graduates") and we had our own Sunday school class. But, the whole time I was there- I wanted to be back in my old ward with my friends. I didn't choose this. I don't feel old. This sucks, plain and simple. But, church is church and from obedience comes blessings? I certainly hope so.
I think it's just that I never envisioned this for myself. Oh well, life continues to surprise and befuddle me.
I am trying to be more optimistic. I've been dealing with a lot of hoo-haw lately and I am learning to let it all go.
My friend posted this as his facebook status- "Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement. Nothing can be done without hope and confidence." -Helen Keller
So, I keep moving along with optimistic faith, hope & confidence.
Maybe this graduation will be a good thing?

Say What?

Life is weird.
For the past two days I have been feeling this weird sensation in my chest. It's like someone surgically implanted a cell phone in my heart and set it on vibrate mode. And someone keeps calling... repeatedly.
So, I went to the doctors today... I was diagnosed with premature atrial beats. Basically my heart beat is a little off and the vibrating sensation is the heart resetting itself. A normal abnormality, the doctor said. So, I am normally abnormal... (but I think I already knew that.)
It is brought on by the following: alcohol in excess, fatigue, cigarettes, fever, anxiety, stress and caffeine. Well, yes- I am tired, I have a lot of stress- and does this mean I have to give up my Diet Dr. Pepper? Probably. Sigh.

Catharsis

I just need to write, to express. I don't know if I will even post this.
Most of the time I try so hard to be positive and live with faith. Most of the time I am pretty happy, most of the time.
Lately I have been feeling so isolated. I still do my day to day thing, but it's just what has to be done. I keep eating and it has caused me to put back on all the weight I lost this past year. I just feel...
Some things have happened in my personal life lately and I am just having a hard time shaking the negativity.
Is it really a good idea to be open with your heart? I am not talking about romantic feelings but just in general. I am sick of caring, I am sick of being misunderstood, I am sick. I used to think being open and loving with all your heart was the only way to live, now I am not so sure. So many people who I have fiercly loved have taken my heart and tossed it aside. There has also been many who have treasured my heart, I cannot forget that.
But, I feel tossed aside- confused- isolated and yearning to find peace.
I need to stop letting other's actions affect me so deeply. I need to let go and just let them be. I need to stop caring so much...

I need your help.

Lots of decisions to be made. Lots. On one, in particular, I would like you to voice your opinion. Should I move to a high school to teach?

A little background-
For the past 4 years, I have been teaching at Valley Jr. High, and although it has had its ups and downs, I really have enjoyed myself there.

Pros/Accomplishments at Valley
- Directed 4 musicals
- Built a program that was previously non-existent and is now HUGE
- Am FINALLY getting a new sound system
- Have a solid rapport with the other teachers/staff at school (love eating lunch with them!)
- Very supportive principal and administration
- I only have ONE huge production per year (which enables me to have somewhat of a social life.)

Cons-
- Not a lot of opportunities for the students.
- I wear ALL the hats (director, music director, technical director, etc...)
- If my administration leaves, the new one could cut my program.
- Sometimes, (being a jr, high theatre teacher) I feel like the red headed step child.
- The kids aren't mature enough to do certain pieces that I would like to do.
- Limits on rehearsal time (jr. high kids can't drive!)

So, coming really soon, I have the opportunity to move to a high school.

And I don't know what is best. The biggest downside to moving to a high school would be that my time would be consumed. I doubt I would have time for much else in my life. But now is the perfect time, right? I mean I am not married, not going to get married any time soon and so I could devote my time to theatre... right?
I feel like I should want to go to a high school- to challende myself, to get more and different experiences. But, I do love where I am. I love the age (I know, I must be INSANE!) And eventually, I really do want a family, which would be possible teaching at the jr. high level- at the high school level, it would be difficult. But, I am nowhere near having a marital status, and I can't plan for that sort of thing...

Sorry for the rambling, as you can see... CONFLICTED!

What do you think?

Adorable

My nephew, Elliott- he makes my heart happy!

The Awesome Adventure of ME!

A few of my friends have reviewed their life from the past decade and I thought, me too! So here goes- my life in review, the highlights, and yes some lowlights too (that have nothing to do with my ever-changing hair color!)

2000 The year 2000 started with a bang, I had just turned 21 years old and was soon to leave on my mission to Dallas, Texas! I started in Bonham, Texas and ended the year in Plano. I still think of my mission often, and I am so grateful for the time I had to serve.

2001

The 1st half of the year was spent in my last area, Athens, Texas. I saw many miracles in this place, and I learned how the Lord is truly mindful of our every move. I came home on July 17th, 2001 and tried my best to get back to normal. In September my Mom got remarried to Kimball Davis and I gained a step-family. I worked at Deseret First Credit Union and prepared to attend BYU-Idaho in January.

2002

BYU-IDAHO!!!! I started college and lived in Greenbrier with Kristine, Bernie, Shannon, Jen and Elizabeth. Being a returned missionary, I was one of the older people on campus. I started my illustrious career in the Theatre Department at BYU-I as a troll in the production, "West of the Moon". That summer I worked at Arbys (hopefully I will never need to work fast food again!) The fall saw me retuning again to school where I made many new friends, worked on "Imaginary Invalid" and started rehearsals for "Guys & Dolls" in my 1st big role at BYU-I as General Cartwright!

2003

Still plugging away at school. Involved in the following productions: "Guys & Dolls", "Tellers & Troubadours", "The Music Man" & "The Crucible". I also started my employment as the Student Costumer/ Organizer extraordinaire in the Costume Department at BYU-I. 2003 saw the birth of my 1st niece Ivy Kristine Murphy on March 12th and the death of my Father, Steven Richard Parkes in May 3rd.

2004

This year I was involved in my favorite musical ever, "Into the Woods" as the Baker's Wife.

On March 17th, 2004 the sunshine known as Madeleine Olivia Murphy was born! And my life got a little bit better! 2004 also was my first summer spent at the Playmill in West Yellowstone, Montana.

2005

In 2005, I decided to take a break from performing Theatre and joined the Collegiate Singers at BYU-Idaho. (So much for a performing break!) I also spent my 2nd summer at the Playmill!

I spent my last semester at BYU-Idaho where my last performance was in Savior of the World.

I am SOOOO grateful for the time I spent at BYU-Idaho! I will always cherish the many, many friends I made during my time there. People who changed my life forever. Going to BYU-I was one of the best decisions I have ever made!

2006

Technically I hadn't graduated from BYU-I yet, I still had a semester of student teaching. I student taught at Cottonwood High School where I taught drama and history. I also went with the Debate team on a trip to San Fransisco.

Then in the Spring, I officially graduated with my bachelors in Theatre/Speech Education. It was a bittersweet moment.
That summer, I worked briefly at the Playmill in the box office and then I was hired to be the drama teacher at Valley Junior High, and so the adventure began! In the fall, I directed my first play, "This Castle Needs a Good Scouring."

2007

In 2007, I directed my 1st musical, Guys & Dolls Jr. It was such a rewarding experience. I did everything, set, costumes, music, direction, choreography... it was exhausting- but seeing those kids excel was the most wonderful feeling in the entire world. Out of all the things I have done in my life and all the things that I am uncertain- I know I was born to be a teacher.

In the summer I went to my 1st trip to DISNEYWORLD and rode my favorite ride for the 1st time... THE ROCKIN' ROLLERCOASTER!!

That summer, I was also in the Murray City Production of "Pirates of Penzance."
In the fall I went back to Disney World for my first appearance at Mickey's Not So Scary Halloween Party, which has become one of my favorite events of the entire year!

2008

The year started of with my production of Willy Wonka. I LOVED this cast!! They were so much fun to work with! I was so proud of all their hard work! In May, my brother got married to Luana!! It was in beautiful San Diego (so of course we had to take a trip to Disneyland!)

2009

Most of 2009 is chronicled in this blog, but here are some fun highlights-

I turned the big 3-0!

Alice in Wonderland!

Europe Trip!

High School Reunion? (We didn't have a ten year, so we had a twelve... go figure!)

My 8th trip to a Disney Park since the summer of '06 (you may say I am a bit obsessed!

2010 so far has brought me my first nephew, Elliott Richard Kiliona Parkes born Jan 1st!

The next decade? Who knows? It's sure to be an adventure though with plent of trips to Disney! All I know is that as I sit here on the eve of my (gulp) 31st birthday all I can say is thanks. Thanks for being my friend, thanks for making me smile and thanks for being a part of my life. It truly has been a grand adventure! Thanks for coming along for the ride!

Love

Tonight my brother Ben and his wife Luana welcomed a baby boy into the world (yet to be named). It was a 33 hour labor and there was a time when they needed our prayers. And everything went perfectly and now they have a perfect little boy. Now my little brother is a Dad.

I was reflecting over the past year and how I grown. And how much I still need to learn. When it all comes down to it, the most important thing is love.

Love- what is it? According to dictionary.com it is a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.

I love that it uses the words profoundly tender.

I think love is trusting, love is letting go, love is believing, love is caring.

I am grateful that love comes in many forms and touches my life in so many ways. From a smile, a touch and a moment shared.

I am so grateful for the people in my life.

I am not married, and therefore my opinion on that particular relationship may be incorrect, but this is what I think it is-

Marriage is unloading the dishwasher, folding laundry, cleaning the toilet. It is putting up with someone's idiosyncrasies, wanting the best for them. It has moments of grandeur, but mostly, it is just living a shared life. Marriage means you have each other's backs. Loving someone enough to have them witness your life.

2009 was amazing and I look forward to the adventures of 2010! I am going to be 31 really soon! That is so crazy to me! Time flies by.

What will 2010 hold? Who knows? But I hope to learn, laugh, cry, love, grow and LIVE!!!!