In Remembrance

10 Years ago, life as we knew it changed.

It was a beautiful September morning and I was walking from choir rehearsal (I was in Sounding Joy, the Institute show choir) to my 2nd class at Salt Lake Community College (I had recently returned from my mission to Dallas, TX two months previously and was taking a few classes before I headed up to BYU-I in January.)
I remember there was an eerie stillness in the air.
When I walked into the building, everyone was quiet and staring at the TV screens, the first plane had hit moments before. My feet were rooted to the ground as I saw the 2nd plane hit, then the tower fell, and finally the other tower fell. I felt horror shake my body as I struggled to cope with what I was witnessing. I felt shock, disbelief and intense sadness.
I don't remember much else from that day except seeing all the flags at half mast and bursting into tears.
I had been to NYC in 1998 and had been on top of the World Trade Building. And now, in an instant, that massive building was gone and along with it thousands of voices were silenced.

September 11th is my brother Ben's birthday. He turned 21 that day, and was waiting to come home from his mission in Independence, Missouri. A few years after 9/11, BYU-I performed the play, "Hole in the Sky" which was based on the attacks on 9/11. I ran the lights and did tech for the show and my brother Ben played a beautiful character named Sal, who was a window washer on the side of the building. I have never seen my brother do a finer acting job. Every night he brought me to tears with his closing monologue, every night he filled me with hope and every night I remembered. 
"So that is all for Sal. Over the side with him. Yet I am not sad... because Sal, eh? Sal is everywhere..."

In 1996, Ben and I were in a car accident that changed our lives forever. It was a week after his 16th birthday and we were on out way to a Granite Youth Symphony Rehearsal when a woman from out of nowhere turned left right in front of my car. I tried to swerve to miss her, but she hit the car directly behind the driver's seat and then we hit a pole head on.
Miraculously, we all lived. Even more miraculously, Ben who had been in the middle of the back seat and had suffered the worst injuries lived. I sometimes think back to that day when I was 'this close' to losing my brother.
I am so blessed to have the siblings that I do. And I am especially blessed to have Ben as my brother. We served our missions at the same time, so we wrote weekly. We went to BYU-I and spent Playmill together where we were in numerous productions and became the best of friends.
And as I spend today grateful for my family, grateful for my friends and grateful for my amazing brother. My heart goes out to the countless families who are missing someone they love today. May we all take a moment and be grateful for the love in our lives.
So, Happy Birthday Ben and may we always remember.