As of right now-

It's Fathers Day. I often forget Father's Day because my Dad has been dead for 11 years now. I have a step-dad who married my Mom when I was 23 so he didn't have a part in raising me and although I appreciate all he does for my Mom- I don't really see him as a Dad. But that's ok.
Right now I am suffering from the worst allergies EVER! I've decided to take the day off and put myself on vocal rest to hopefully heal more quickly. Because, you see- this week Oliver opens and I've got to belt some high notes! I've been so frustrated with myself lately because I have not been at my best. I'm still struggling with lines even though I've spent hours working on them and going over them. I think I've psyched myself out a bit. I think I just need to relax and just be. I know I can do it. Also, I have to remember it's not my show. I just finished my 8th year teaching and subsequently my 8th year being a director- it's hard to take that hat off. It's usually my job to notice and fix all the problems. It's hard to not do that when it's not my show. Sigh. Also I'm opinionated. Sigh.
I do too much. Let's just say professionally I have a ton on my plate right now and even though it's summer, I don't feel like I've gotten a break or had a moment of relaxation. I need to learn to say no sometimes.
And lastly- I'm feeling a little disheartened. I love the gospel. I don't understand everything and at times I've become quite disillusioned with the culture and mentality of church members. However, at the heart of it all, I'm a good Mormon girl and it hurts my heart a little to witness those I love decide to turn their back on their faith. Now, I don't judge, I don't condemn- that's not my place. It just makes me a little sad, that's all. The world makes me a little sad. Sure, I've had my doubts, sure- I've struggled with my faith. But when I'm still, when I truly am introspective I realize that living the Mormon faith and striving to be the best I can be is where I find true happiness. It's just who I am. I don't have all the answers, I don't understand many things- but I just know who I am.