Learn to Live Without

This past week I went to Southern California on our annual performing arts trip. It was not without a lot of drama, but I think that will be a post for another day-

A lot has happened to me in the past year. A year ago, I could never have predicted what a roller coaster was in store for me,  I wouldn't recognize what has happened- but it has, which I guess is a testament to the fact that things always change. It's been a year of heartbreak, lost faith and renewed hope.
I think one of the important things to remember is that life is what you make it. There is joy, fulfillment, and lessons all around. I've learned that it's ok that I'm alone. I've learned that I am complete on my own. I've learned to not place my happiness and future in anyone's hands but my own. I've learned at the heart of it all- I'm just a good Mormon girl.
I've had to learn to trust, I've had to learn that my life cannot be compared to anyone else, that my experiences and timeline is mine.
I've learned that, no matter what, I need to keep my heart open. I've learned to forgive and let go. I've learned that people make entrances and exits into my life precisely when needed.
I've learned to enjoy the quiet.
So my advice- is live and have hope. There is a new musical called If/Then that is written by the same folks who wrote Next to Normal- anyway- I've loved everything I heard from the show so far.
There is a song entitled- You Learn to Live Without that speaks to me- Here are some of the lyrics-

You learn to take your shower cold
And sleep on tired feet
You learn to order dinner in
You learn to send the laundry out
You learn how to amuse yourself
You learn to live without

You learn to fall asleep alone
You learn to silence ticking clocks
You learn to pull the shades at night
And double check the locks
You learn to speak so calmly when
Your heart would like to scream and shout
You learn to smile and breathe and smile
You learn to live without

You learn to count the quiet wins
An hour with no unprompted tears
And not to count the deadly days
As they fade into years
You learn to stand alone at last
So brave and bold and strong and stout
You learn somehow to like the dark
You even love the doubt
You learn to hold your life inside you
And never let it out
You learn to live and live and die and to live
You learn to live without