Subjective Expectations

Yesterday was an interesting day for me. I woke up bright and early at 6 am from a dream that put me in an incredibly sad mood. In the dream, a person whom I trust  broke that trust, betrayed me and essentially broke my heart. Thank heavens it was just a dream, but sometimes with dreams, emotions have a tendency to linger.
So, the day started on a rather sour note.
Yesterday was State Drama competition. Last year at the competition I knew I had a solid team, but I didn't really have any expectations on how we would rank. Well, much to my delighted surprise, we placed 3rd! So, this year, as you can imagine, my expectations had shifted a little.
I tried to not have it affect me.  I tried to not care. I told my kids to focus on preparation and that's all that mattered. But, truth behold, I did care. I wanted to place in the top three and after a strong showing at region, we were in a plush position to do just that.
It all started to unravel a bit at our showcase last Wednesday. The pieces, overall, we're just ok. Some were incredible and some were... But art is subjective and hopefully the kids would take it up a notch before Saturday and  hopefully their judges would respond in positive manner to what they were presenting.
On Thursday, we presented our One Act, The Spirit of Life. I felt like it has gone ok. We followed Alta High (who ended up taking first in practically every category) and I knew it would be hard to not make a comparison. The kids did a good job, but the judges didn't seem to respond to the performance, nitpicking it apart. Although all three did give us a superior performance.
Back to yesterday, so after my funky morning, I was hopeful that my kids would pull it off. The morning started with a student being bumped and dropping a heavy set piece on her toe causing it to bleed severely, but she soldiered on and we t on to get a superior medal.
As the scores for the first round started coming in, I quickly realized I had overshot my expectations. My kids were doing ok...
I heard later that a student who I could usually count on for outstanding performances had actually told her friend on the bus ride to the competition that she didn't care about her performance... Well if she doesn't care, why should I care? And her scores showed it, which brought the overall team score down. Although they compete as individuals, they also are part of a team.
Needless to say, it was a rather disappointing day. I'm not sure exactly where we placed but I am pretty sure we were somewhere in the middle. Mediocre at best.
Oh well, it was just a bit of a let down.
Fourth quarter is always the hardest one. The seniors start succumbing to their imaginary disease, "senioritis" and become incredibly flaky and disinterested. The weather gets warmer and we all get a little bit of cabin fever. And yet now is the time to focus and make sure everything is done between now and the end of the year.
I'm glad state is over. But I always have things I'm busy working on... I need a vacation.  A time to remember what it's like to be Kjersti, not just Ms. Parkes.