Blessings and Quiet Reassurances

This weekend is General Conference for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, of which I have been a life long member. I will admit, at times, sometimes I struggle with my testimony of the gospel. Life is hard. Sometimes I don't understand why, and I become angry and stubborn, or worse- indifferent.
And yet, my loving Heavenly Father always finds a way to gently guide me. And I am humbled that I matter that much. That He has a specific plan and purpose for me. And this weekend- I have been taught by his servants and been reminded of what Heavenly Father would have me do.
As I have often stated on this blog- I long to have my own family and I am trying to seek opportunities to see this happen in my life. However, this has not happened yet for me. But, what has happened for me is a wonderful career where I have the blessing to interact with many teenagers.
At the Saturday morning session of the conference, President Monson announced that the age at which young people can serve missions has changed to 18 for the boys and 19 for the girls. I immediately thought of my wonderful students, and how this news would cause them to rejoice. I found my eyes filling with tears of gratitude as I thought of those precious individuals. Then, during the Saturday afternoon session- the choir was filled with teens from the Bennion and Taylorsville areas- and I saw some familiar faces who at one time were in my classroom. I again was overwhelmed at the responsibility I have to these young people.

The world we live in is crazy. It is becoming increasingly acceptable to embrace vulgarity and immorality. And yet, these young people rise above it all. And they often look to me as an example; what a responsibility it is.
At times, there are moments that remind me of why I am where I am. It's almost as if Heavenly Father is telling me- I know you want your own family, and I promise that will happen in due time. But, right now- these kids need you. They need you to help them along their path. They need you to love them and serve them. You are where you need to be.
Last week at parent teacher conferences, a mother of one of my students shared something with me. Her daughter, who is incredibly talented, but shy and has struggled fitting in, had found love and acceptance in my classroom. She has some physical limitations and often has low self-esteem. But, I don't see the limitations, all I see is this bright and talented girl who is amazing. She also told me how much this girl looks up to me. I am pretty open with my students and tell them stories about my life and experiences. Her Mom told me that her daughter wants to be like me. Her daughter, because of her limitations, thinks she will never get married. But, she looks at me, and how I live my life, and how I am positive and happy and how I do so many things. And she told her Mom that she realized that she can be happy no matter what, that she wants to be like me. I can think of no higher honor.
Yesterday another student posted on my Facebook wall the following, "Ms. Parkes! I miss you so much! You were the best teacher that I ever had, and have changed my life forever! :)" Another student liked the post and another one wrote ditto.
Having faith in Heavenly Father's plan for me. I was given a gift and an uncanny ability to relate to teenagers. I do not take this responsibility lightly. I've also told my students that if they invite me to their mission farewells, I will come. Keeps my Sundays pretty busy!
I also have students who are not LDS, and I want them also to feel loved, accepted and safe. My goal is to make an environment where everyone is free to be who they are. Where they all know how valued and important they are.
I'm grateful for the quiet reassurance that I am right where I need to be, doing exactly what I need to be doing. That Heavenly Father has entrusted me to guide and teach these kids. I love it.