Another month comes and goes as October 2010 will soon be history.
About a month ago, I had a major relationship in my life change significantly. And although I wish this person the best, I am still trying to figure out how I feel about all of it.
"Where do we go from here? This isn't where I intended to be.
We had it all, you believed in me, I believed in you...
Deep in my heart I'm concealing
Things that I'm longing to say-
Scared to confess what I'm feeling
Frightened you'll slip away."
This person is now for all intents and purposes no longer in my life. We never talk, we never see each other. And although I think it was all for the best- I am still having a hard time with it. It didn't end well. Although it ended civilly... It isn't hard for me to get over being angry, it isn't hard for me to forgive, but it is excruciatingly hard to let go of people when I love them. Especially when I still long to have a connection with them. I don't know how to know when the time comes to truly give up hope. I am an eternal optimist, I have lived my life in such a way where I always try to find the silver lining, even in the darkest of times.
"Look for the silver lining- Whenever clouds appear in the gloom.
Remember somewhere the sun is shining-
And so the right thing to do is make it shine for you.
A heart full of joy and gladness- will always banish sadness and strife.
But always look for the silver lining-
And then you'll find the sunny side of life."
Is it time to realize the gloom isn't going away and is it time maybe to find a different piece of sky...
"It all began the day I found that from my window I could only see a piece of sky-
I stepped outside and looked around, I never dreamed it was so wide or even half as high-
The time has come- to try my wings
And even though it seems at any moment I could fall.
I felt the most amazing things, the things you can't imagine if you've never flown at all.
Though it's safer to stay on the ground, sometimes where danger lies, there the sweetest of pleasures are found.
No matter where I go they'll be memories that tug at my sleeve...
Oh tell me where...
Where is the someone who will turn to look at me
And want to share my every sweet imagined possibility...
The more I live, the more I learn, the more I learn, the more I realize- the less I know.
Each step I take, each page I turn, each mile I travel only means the more I have to go-
What's wrong with wanting more?
If you can fly then soar!"
What do I hope for? What can I hope for? Goodbye to my dear friend. Goodbye to the moment. Goodbye to the expectation, goodbye to the possibility.
Hello to the Unknown...
Still I have Hope- always Hope...
But maybe it needs to be Hope for something new.
2 comments:
"hello, Unknown, Your beautiful!"
For what it's worth, I lost someone like that and I regret it to this day. You might want to just pick up the phone and find a way to smooth it over just a little bit more. Of course, that's vague advice for a vague blog post from a friend who hasn't seen you in a long time. Take it for whatever it's worth! Good luck!
Post a Comment